Farting Edicate

Ethan randomly got up from the couch this afternoon and walked to the kitchen. I heard him pass gas loudly, then he sat back down on the couch.
I asked him, "Did you just leave the room to fart?"
He replied, "Yeah."
I asked, "Where'd you learn that!"
Without skipping a beat, "Not from Dad!"

Forgetful Toothfairy

Ethan: "The tooth fairy didn't come last night."
Me: "Oh, maybe she was busy last night. I bet she'll come tomorrow."
Ethan: "You're the toothfairy, and you just forgot, didn't you?"
Me: "Why do you say that?"
Ethan: "Because you would be the one to forget something like that."
Outed by my own forgetfulness.

So You Think You Can Dance

On our way to school earlier this week, one of my favorite songs came on the radio. I was dancing along while driving when Ethan said, "Mom, when you dance like that, it really embarrasses me."
Ouch! I'm an embarrassing mom already!?!

Arguing?

I could hear Ethan and Olivia arguing in the backseat of the car. Then Olivia said, "I'm just not going to argue with you!"
Ethan responded, "It's not arguing if I'm right!"
Now that's a firstborn statement if I've ever heard one!

Olivia

As we were getting into the car to head to my parents' house, Olivia, in all her dress-up apparel and accessories said, "I'm prepared for the journey."
Ethan responded, "Livi, I feel like you are always prepared for a journey, but it's just not the journey that we are on."
I've never heard Olivia described so accurately!

Ethan's Thought to Ponder

As our cat Zoey was cuddled up on Ethan's lap, he said, "I wish I knew what it was like to cuddle up on my lap." Then that got us thinking. You'll never know what it's like to sit on your own lap. Hmmmm....

The Day I Lost Ethan

I thought I better document this story, so we can always remember it. It was by far the scariest moment of my life. During the summer when Ethan was home during the day, I would sometimes let him and Olivia watch TV and play downstairs during nap time. I would travel up and down the stairs to keep an eye on everyone during that time. Well, during one of my "checks" on Ethan and Olivia I noticed that Olivia had fallen asleep on the couch. I didn't see Ethan, but I noticed a lump on my bed and figured that he had decided to take a nap there. I smiled to myself and quietly headed upstairs to check on the daycare kids. While I was feeding a baby, Olivia came upstairs. I asked if Ethan was awake, and she said she didn't see him. I went to check on him only to realize that the lump I saw on my bed earlier was just a bunched up blanket. It wasn't Ethan. I checked all the rooms downstairs, but I couldn't find him. I thought maybe he had crept upstairs when I was busy with the baby, so I checked everywhere upstairs. I still couldn't find him. I started shouting his name as I checked every room and closet. He was nowhere to be found! I opened the front and back door, still shouting his name. Nothing! Now I was starting to panic. First I was sad and scared that my baby was missing. Then I started to realize how bad this really looked for me! How was I going to explain that I lost a 6-year-old in a basement? There is no way he could have left the house without me knowing. He just completely vanished! I'm sure the cops would understand that, right?! I called Josh in tears and told him that I lost Ethan. I explained the whole situation to him and he said he would head home immediately. I went downstairs again crying and shaking uncontrollably. I started screaming him name as I threw pillows off of the couch. Then as I lifted one pillow, a curled up little 6-year-old body plopped down onto the cushion. I ran up the stairs and called Josh to tell him that he didn't need to come home. I had found Ethan behind some pillows on the couch! Then it hit me. Why didn't he wake up when I was screaming? Oh my gosh, he's dead! While still on the phone with Josh, I ran downstairs and put my hand on Ethan's back. Movement. He's still alive! But I watched him for another minute just to be sure. He was still breathing, so I went upstairs to take care of the daycare kids, who probably thought their daycare provider had lost her marbles! It was still another hour before Ethan came upstairs. I asked him, "Do you know what happened today?"
He replied, "What? I didn't take a nap!"